“Never be too comfortable.”
~Note on my desk
In some ways I yearn for comfortability. I look forward to the end of a hard day’s work when I can relax for a bit in my room and know that I lived that day to it’s fullest potential. After two weeks of life in Maryland I have started to realize a few things:
- Everyone is weird. Everyone has a quirk, kink, and belief that runs counter to the rest of the herd and group. However, most choose not to share it with the rest of the world for fear of being ostracized.
- People wear masks. More-so than in other cultures, I believe that one of the best ways to fit in in American culture is to display a mask of niceness to others. Now I think that there are those who genuinely act nice, but most people tend to display niceness as a means to avoid conflict.
- No one knows what’s happening ever. Many of us helplessly flail around aiming for familiar ground upon which we can make sense of the information around us.
I’m attempting to be an adult, yet still trying to figure out what it means to be one. I’m attempting to feel at home, yet still trying to figure out if I am am meant to feel that way. I’m attempting to feel comfortable, yet still trying to figure out if that will help me grow.
I’m afraid of becoming stagnant, hiding too much of my true self behind masks of “niceness”.